Workplace Wellness - with Ngozi Weller, Aurora Wellness Group

Good Mental Health is Good Business.

So says the brochure of Aurora Wellness Group, co-founded by culture change strategist Ngozi Weller with psychologist and behavioural change specialist Obehi Alofoje.

Ngozi had a truly compelling reason for launching Aurora in 2017 and she opens up this episode by telling us her impactful and at times heart-wrenching story. 

We go on to discuss:
- why looking after people is a win-win for ALL companies and how it impacts the bottom line
- practical ways to support line managers, the front line in looking after your teams
- who looks after the HR crew (and the shepherds!)

Ngozi's thoughts and tips are, as always, interspersed with analogies to the world of shepherding brought alive by Chris, Head Shepherd and co-founder of Raising the Baa.

Questions?  We love 'em!  Simply message us through any of our social channels or email caroline@raisingthebaa.com and we'll ensure it is answered in a future episode or privately by one of our guest experts whichever is most suitable.

Enjoy - and thank ewe for listening 😊🎧


FREE resources:
Rise of the New Leader - white paper produced by Aurora
The Wellbeing Rebellion - Aurora's new podcast

Sheep, Shepherd or Dog - which one are ewe? Take our personality quiz and find out.

Connect with the speakers via LinkedIn:
Ngozi  Weller - Director and co-founder, Aurora Wellness Group
Caroline Palmer - Top Dog and co-founder, Raising the Baa
Chris Farnsworth - Head Shepherd and co-founder, Raising the Baa & author of 'Sheep Shepherd Dog - Building a Magnificent Team Around You'

What are your main team challenges and desires? Maybe we can help?
Book in a 15-minute Exploratory Call now and let's see.

Transcript

Ngozi (00:03):

You employ humans, whole beings, not just people functioning in a role. And so you have a duty of care to the whole being.

Caroline (00:12):

Hello, and thank you for tuning in to Sheep Dip, the podcast from Raising the Baa global leaders in team building with sheep. So workplace wellness, what does it all mean? It's such a huge topic, which is why for this series of Sheep Dip we have invited a really wide variety of guests who are experts in their particular field. They're from the corporate side as well as consultancies. They'll be sharing their insights and giving you some truly practical tips on how you can improve your own workplace wellness. Feel free to join in the conversation on socials using the hashtag workplace wellness. But meanwhile, let's get on with the show with your hosts, Chris Farnsworth, who's our Head Shepherd, who co-founded the business with myself, Caroline Palmer. Enjoy the show.

(01:01):

Today we are delighted to welcome to our podcast Ngozi Weller, who is a corporate wellbeing and productivity consultant, which I think is lovely. I like the two of those together and we're definitely going to talk about that in our episode today. So welcome Ngozi, nice to meet you.

Ngozi (01:18):

Nice to meet you too. Thank you both for having me on the podcast.

Caroline (01:21):

Well, we're looking forward to our conversation this morning. So tell us a little bit about yourself, how you got to be doing what you're doing right now and I know we're going to say about it a bit later on, but your own podcast as well.

Ngozi (01:33):

If you are ready, buckle in, because it is a quite interesting story and I tell it a lot. It's important that people understand why I do what I do. As Caroline said, my name's Ngozi Weller and I am co-founder of an organisation called Aurora. And we are a culture change consultancy and we specialise in mental health and wellbeing, productivity, leadership development. And we've been doing this work now, that's me and my business partner who's a psychologist, and we've been doing this work for the last five years. And it's really something that's born of passion and personal experience, which brings me to telling you how I ended up here. So my background was in oil and gas and I had joined them as a graduate. So it was all I had ever known. I worked there for 16 years. It wasn't my preferred career. I was never, I didn't do engineering at uni, I was a management student. It wasn't what I wanted to do. What I actually wanted to do was to be Secretary General of the UN because why not? But I was a child from the nineties. I saw Kofi Annan as the Secretary General of the UN and I was like, if that black African can do it, then I can do it. And I really passionately wanted to make the world a better place and that seemed like a great way to do it. So I was going to go and do that. But I was told, oh, well it's good if you have corporate experience first. So I just picked any company, found this oil company that seemed interesting and fun, joined them. And then through a combination of good fortune and bad luck, I ended up staying there for like 16, 17 years. And I enjoyed it.

(03:16):

I figured, you know, to be honest, this is not a bad life. This is a good job, this is good people and I can make a difference in my own small way here. So I was going to dedicate all the ambition and the energy and the creativity and hard work I had in me and do the best I could at the roles I was given. And it worked. I continued to accelerate my career and I thought, yeah, dig deep, it's not bad. It's a good life, it's great. But then I had a child and that was a little, little stumble, little trip, but I was like, oh, they don't know me. They don't know how hard I'm prepared to work. So I would always be the first person to drop my daughter off at nursery and I'd be there one minute before closing and I'd take her home, I'd play with her for an hour, give her a bath, put her to bed, carry on working, carry on working because, you know, motherhood was not going to put a dent in my career plan at all.

(04:19):

And it, it worked. I continued to climb the career ladder again and I thought, see I told you you can have it, the brass ring, you can almost touch it. And I thought maybe foolishly I couldn't brave having another child. So we had number two and that was it. That was a very different story, not just for us personally as a family, because number two is always a challenge, but for my career, for my company, it was just an indication that I wasn't taking this life seriously. And I thought, I don't understand because there are other people, my peers who have had children and have continued to succeed and accelerate. So why not me? But I just thought, well, it must be because I'm not working hard enough or I'm not good enough. And that's certainly what some of my managers were intimating in the conversation that, oh, you're just not quite demonstrating enough leadership potential or you are not quite doing this or that.

(05:23):

And I thought, I don't understand because I really think I'm doing at least as well as them, everybody I'm working with is telling me, but I don't get it. And what happens is, is you start to internalise these negatives that you get fed. So I started to think perhaps I'm not good enough. Somewhere I started to believe that perhaps they're right, that my ambitions are founded on not much at all really. And I should be happy and grateful for wherever I am. But there is always this niggling sense of that can't be the case. I don't get it. Everybody else is telling me I'm doing great. Everybody else is so thankful for the work.

(06:05):

It all came to a head one year, I had the good fortune to work for two bosses. So I had a functional boss, the guy who was giving me my actual everyday work and all of that. I was part of his work team. That's the allocation of the work I got. So he was the one who saw all the effort I was going to, gave me my projects and told me I was one of the shining stars on the team and he didn't understand what was going on with my career. But I also had an admin boss who was the guy who would sign my expenses and who ultimately goes in and bids for you to progress within the organisation in a closed ranking process, right? So this is the person who fights your corner and determines your pay rises and your promotions. But because my functional boss had told me that, yes it's all going to get sorted. I've seen your work and you're definitely one of the best on the team. You need to be higher and we'll sort it out.

(07:04):

Next rank period, I went in with expectations. I thought it's work. So when I sat down with my admin boss and he said, thank you so much, so much for all the effort you've gone to. It's been such a tremendous help to the team, but unfortunately it hasn't made a difference to your rank group. I'm afraid very little changed there. I was armed and forewarned to challenge and push back. So I did that. And um, when I asked him to explain why, the only explanation he could have was, you are just, you're too, you're too jokey. That is the reason why I'm not getting on promotion, not the quality of my work, not the amount of work I do, but because I'm fun when I do it. Right. That's when the penny dropped. I realised it's got nothing to do with me or my work or the quality of it or whether I know the right people or any of that stuff.

(08:10):

It's all to do with I don't fit. And the reason I don't fit. The thing that differentiates me from the peers who have managed to push, break through the glass ceiling is my race. That's it. I was already one of the most senior black people in the organisation and there wasn't going to be any higher I could go. Obviously it was never explicitly said. I just understood it right there and then, ah, I get it. And then it all came crumbling down. I realised that there was nothing I could do. I felt so trapped. I really did. I felt like I had no option but to keep working for people who were going to take advantage of my efforts and continue to severely underpay me compared to my peers. And there was nothing I could do about it. And I felt like I was a bird or a canary trapped in a golden cage.

Caroline (09:12):

How long ago was this?

Ngozi (09:14):

This was in 2016, I'm thinking. And I just, I carried on working with them, struggled on, decided to just keep pushing those negative feelings down. And these are feelings that so many of us identify with the feelings of you're not good enough and the world would be better off without you. I used to wake up in a hotel room. I remember waking up in the middle of the night screaming all the time, just thinking that I was at work and then realising, heck, I am. I used to just fantasise about killing myself. How can I, how can I leave the world and make everybody's lives better for me not being in it? Because I was just a failure. I hadn't managed to beat the system, the system had beaten me. So I was looking for a way to die or just to not live.

(10:09):

Now I know I'd reached stage three of burnout, right? Suicidal ideation was a comfort blanket for me. But it was devastating. And it wasn't until I actually had what I call the nervous break or the episode where I was a puddle on the kitchen floor, incoherent and panicked, that I got any kind of help. And I was lucky because my husband was there and my mother-in-law who has a medical background and they stopped me from going into work the next day, booked the doctor's appointment and physically took me there. And that was the beginning of my recovery. And it was slow and it was painful, but it did help me to recognise that actually I wasn't the problem. And that all the things that I'd gone through, the things that I believed about myself didn't have to happen if I had had support in the workplace at an earlier stage. So that's when I contacted my cousin and the psychologist Obehi and we formed Aurora to provide the kind of mental health and wellbeing support to organisations that was missing in my kind of need. And that was in October, 2017.

Chris (11:35):

Very interesting because you know, as a shepherd, I related to that part where you went, oh, I've got one baby, it's fine. Then suddenly two come along and it's suddenly the world changes, doesn't it?

Ngozi (11:47):

Completely.

Chris (11:48):

In the shepherding world, the ewe has one lamb and it goes, it stands up, it turns round, there it is, and it licks it and loves it and it's fine. And almost by accident they suddenly have this second one and they're going, oh, flipping heck. And at that point, you can get this thing called mis-mothering. And that's where another ewe comes along and adopts one and you know, it's very complicated. But where one ewe gets distracted by another lamb, they then go, oh, I love you, I love you, I love you. And then all of a sudden they have their two lambs. They go, actually, I don't love you. And they start pushing it away. And it's heartbreaking to see this one lamb. So you've got two ewes, four lambs, one has got three lambs because she's adopted one and one has got a single, but actually both had twins. Does that make sense?

Ngozi (12:44):

Yes it does.

Chris (12:45):

And you see this one lamb being beaten up from both mum and adopted mum and just wandering around the field, bleating away, going, I'm hungry, I'm cold, nobody loves me. And it's a shepherd's job to make sure that that lamb stays with that ewe you because that's where it's going to be loved and nurtured. And I guess it's very same in the workplace. When you're under that tremendous pressure, your better aligned to say, I love you, I love you. And actually no, I don't love you. We just want you to do the job.

Ngozi (13:20):

And I think that's the reality. And I do understand it from an organisation's perspective, right? Companies are here to make money. They are bound by their shareholders to turn a profit. If they don't, then everybody's out of a job. I get that. But what I am saying, and this is why we focus so much on culture change, leadership development, what I'm saying is that there are ways to do that more effectively. In the modern world, post pandemic, everybody now recognises that life is more than just cashing in a paycheck. There's so much more to us than just working nine till five. Who does that anyway? Nobody does. And taking your paycheck and then going home to your real life; they talk about work, life, home, work merge. That's a reality. We are one entity. So the Ngozi that was showing up at work is the same in Ngozi who goes home to her kids.

(14:22):

And you have to, as an employer, as a responsible employer, you employ humans, whole beings, not just people functioning in a role. And so you have a duty of care to the whole being. And so there's ways to get people to do the work, Chris, as you were saying, to yeah, just do the job lovingly, responsibly and with care and consideration. And every piece of research that has been conducted in the last 10 years shows that if you do take care of your employees and you look after their wellbeing, you get so much more back. I'm sure you've heard it, you get back more in loyalty, in creativity and innovation. You get back more in productivity, ultimately, because employees want to work more and are well enough to function at their highest level. So it is a win-win. It sounds like: oh, why do we as employers have to care about you and your personal life? Just do the job. This is a manager doing the job: is helping his employees to thrive and be their very best and therefore bring their very best to the workplace.

Caroline (15:37):

If you're enjoying listening to this show, we'd really appreciate your following and rating Sheep Dip wherever you tune into podcasts. And if you've got a burning question, arising from this show, or there's a topic that you'd like us to cover, simply email me Caroline@raisingthebaa.com or send a message through any of our social channels.

(15:59):

And I think it's been, I mean it's been there all the time, really. I mean that it hasn't, we've had the pandemic and that's sort of brought an awful lot to the surface. And I think that people are talking about it a lot more, which is really good on the one hand. On the other hand, I guess the flip side is that, I don't know, I feel sometimes for the people who are in the HR type role, because at the end of the day, I suppose they're the people that people go to initially let's say, or well, perhaps it's not initially, perhaps that's the problem. Perhaps things get to a point and then they feel they have to go to somebody at HR and say, look, I'm being bullied or I'm doing this or doing that, or whatever. And I just sort of wonder if the HR people themselves, you know, who look after them. I mean, if you've got any thoughts on that? It's great that's being talked about. Absolutely. And we absolutely endorse the fact if you look after people, you get, you know, heaps back. But who looks after the people that are trying to look after the people, if that makes sense.

Ngozi (16:57):

In my experience, nobody. So when I started Aurora, my only experience of human resources as a function was as an employee who would go to them if I needed something. They were, in my experience, the people that would either tell you off if you got in trouble or make you follow the rules, they were a bit of a jobsworth function. And now that I've worked very closely with HR and people in culture, people in communication teams, I know that to be far from the case. However, there's two things I would say. One, if an employee is coming to HR or is directed to HR because of a mental health or wellbeing issue or concern, that should be the final, not the first, but the last call. Too often it's the first call because HR are the people function, right?

(17:56):

So if it's about people, then go to HR. HR are not therapists, they're not coaches, they're not wellbeing specialists, they're human resource professionals. They know about the law and contracts, recruitment, all of that stuff. They don't know what to say to Sandra because her husband is leaving her and she doesn't know what to do anymore. That doesn't make them an expert in that just because they're a caring profession. So that's the one thing. And the other thing is because these are people who care, human resources, they will often just absorb it all, take it on, try and resolve it to the best of their ability. They were the ones working constantly during the pandemic. Everybody else may have been on furlough, but not the HR professionals. They'll take it on. They will not ask for additional help. And even if they do, they will rarely get the help and support that they need.

(18:50):

But they do need it. They need it in the form of experts who can come and work alongside them like Aurora to provide that kind of strategy, consultation and support, therapeutic and preventative support. And they need it for themselves. In my experience, very few people care for those who are caring for others. The same goes for mental health first aiders and wellbeing champions in organisations. You get trained up, you have a great two-day training course, but then you are left to your own devices. So what happens when someone comes and tells you that, I've been thinking about killing myself. You are taking that on. Who are you able to pass that on to? Who helps and supports you? Companies don't often think that far. They're very proud of themselves because they've got, you know, one in 20, one in 50, one in 100 mental health first aiders. That's not good enough.

Chris (19:44):

Its very interesting, isn't it? Who helps the shepherd when he's in trouble or she's in trouble, who do they call? They generally call people like me who's a contract shepherd who goes round helping other shepherds and when you're just saying who goes to people in crisis, who'd you phone? How do you reach out and actually get that help?

Ngozi (20:03):

This is where HR can really come into their own. So what we focus on is strategy. We wouldn't implement physical health and safety initiatives without having a health and safety strategy. It should be called mental health and safety. And then companies would take it seriously. So you need to implement your strategy carefully. It needs to be considered. So don't go and invest in mental health first aiders without having thought about, well what's the next step? What's the consequences? And sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees. So the very first thing, and I would implore you if you're in HR, think about it strategically because this is such a significant issue for organisations today. Go and ask for support, seek expert advice, people who can tell you what your organisation needs. It depends on the size, the industry, the composition of your employee workforce, what do they actually need?

(21:02):

And then start implementing solutions that will help them meet those needs. Don't go copying other people because you read this in the newspaper or you heard that Google have introduced this flexible working policy, so therefore we must do it. Look at your business, look at your people and invest widely but systematically. So if you were to strategically do it, because as I said, I come from an oil and gas background and everything we did was multi-million or billion dollar investments. So we have to be strategic and responsible. You have to think and plan. And so we have a framework at Aurora just for that, for how you will embed culture change, how you will create a psychologically safe workplace because you need to think it through all the way. So that's what I would say is you go and find an expert who can guide you, knowing full well that you, just because you have the title Human Resources, are not an expert in this and your one job is to convince your CEO that this is a worthwhile investment.

Caroline (22:08):

And there's plenty of stats. I know that Deloitte do an awful lot of research, don't they? I think you quoted one of them in your podcast. But, yeah, I see the Deloitte material and there's huge amounts out there. Now, aside from obviously yourselves, Aurora, you couldn't handle everybody to come to you. What other sort of practical steps, maybe one, just one thing that somebody could do thinking, crikey, she's right, I really ought to do something about this. And yes, of course they can have a look at your resources, but is there anything else you think would be a good first step for somebody to do if they were just struggling a bit and thinking, oh, what should I do to help our own workplace wellbeing?

Ngozi (22:47):

The very first thing I'd do is to start with asking the right questions in the right way. So often because we are stressed and we've got so much to do, we're overworked and overwhelmed frankly by the topic of supporting our employees wellbeing. We tend to just, as I say, piggyback off other people. We'll just bring in an EAP and just figure that that works. The first thing I would do is actually find out from the employees what do they need? What do they want? So how you speak to them, how you survey, how frequently, what questions do you ask? All that kind of stuff can be thoroughly researched. We can give guidance, but make sure that you're doing it and you are looking at the results and giving them the support that they genuinely are looking for, rather than making assumptions about, well I think they want...Actually find out where the issues are. And that in itself is a significant piece of work to make sure you've done it right and you're correctly analysing. But that's the very first step. It's the first step in our framework for support, is discovery. Find out what you actually should be doing for your organisation.

Chris (23:58):

We're seeing a lot of that in agriculture. Of course, you know, some people have heard about regenerative agriculture. But the first thing you've got to do is to look at what you've got and to see what you can do to improve it. And you know, we so much in the past, we've gone for the quick fix. We need more grass, we'll chuck more nitrogen on it, it'll grow more, we can keep more animals to the acre, but that is to the detriment of mother nature. And now we're realising what we need to worry about are things like earthworms, which have never come into the equation before. They're not sexy, it's not what everybody's talking about. You know, we all go, oh we want herbal layers, we want this, we want that. That's just the top line. The top line underneath the top line, we need carbon to go back into the soil and the best way to get it is the earthworm.

Ngozi (24:54):

Wow I did not know that, you taught me something.

Caroline (24:58):

There you go. And worms can be sexy I'm sure. They're probably very offended.

Ngozi (25:03):

They're not!

Caroline (25:03):

Poor little worms! Now Ngozi, you probably know that organisations such as ourselves are very much about bringing teams together. Now obviously the whole working pattern now is much more hybrid than it ever was before, which has its benefits, and its downsides for sure. Without going into huge discussion about that, do you feel there are reasons, good reasons to get the team together to do whatever it is they need to do to get together, and why would that be?

Ngozi (25:33):

Absolutely. Everybody's embraced hybrid working and there are benefits to working from home. I work from home. But there are some things and some of those are wellbeing related that you can only get when you connect with people face-to-face. I do think it's important that organisations put in place opportunities for not just team meetings but networking with each other, whether that be socials or recognitions or whatever, to get people together in a way that is informal and allows them to bond with their teammates. When you've got employees joining an organisation for the first time, say graduates coming from university or apprentices and they are working for your company purely from home, it's very difficult for them to understand what your organisational culture is. And then they go into an office and there's barely anybody there showing them the ropes. It's isolating, it's lonely and it doesn't help them to feel confident in their abilities or confident that they've made the right decision in working with you. So there is definitely a place for bringing people together in teams and doing networking events such as the ones that you provide. I think it's so important that we don't forget that. However, there is a benefit to not saying everybody must be in the office five days a week. We've got technology that makes it possible for us to achieve a better work-life blend than we had before. So let's capitalise on that.

Caroline (27:02):

I like the expression worklife blend. I think that's much better than worklife balance because at the end of the day it's really hard to balance; blend, harmony, much better word. Okay, that's fantastic. Well listen, we're going to wrap this up now. We could go on forever on this topic, couldn't we? as we both know. Obviously we are going to put in our show notes ways that people can connect with you and we'll also put a link to your own podcast, which I know we haven't had huge amounts of time to talk about today, but it is called the Wellbeing Rebellion, found on all good podcast platforms. And also there's a nice white paper that we're going to also attach. Do you want to just say a minute on what's in that white paper that people could benefit from?

Ngozi (27:39):

So as I mentioned earlier, at Aurora we believe passionately that the secret to properly implementing good, effective wellbeing that makes a difference to the people on the ground in your company is by upskilling and empowering your line managers to be able to normalise that conversation about mental health. Because just because I've been promoted to a manager doesn't mean I know how to speak about these topics. And what happens too often is I just avoid it. Or as you were saying, you pass the buck to HR. By then, it's too late. We need to get comfortable. We all say it... Oh it's okay not to be okay, my door is always open. We need to actually get better at talking to our employees about how they're feeling, how they're doing and how we can support them. And the line manager in the organisation is uniquely placed to have those conversations.

(28:35):

They will be seeing what is changed about their appearance or their behaviour or their personality. So they will be able to notice differences that HR won't know because HR don't have daily contact or weekly contact with them. They are also tasked with being the ones who can liaise with your employee about how they're meeting their job expectations. So employees will expect to be sitting down with their line managers talking about, well this piece of work was due two weeks ago and you still haven't brought it in on time. That conversation can happen before it becomes a performance management issue when you take it to HR. But we can't expect line managers to just know magically how to do this. We need to give them the skills to do so. So the Rise of the New Leader white paper is all about really why organisations have to invest in this kind of upskilling of their line managers and how they can go about doing that.

Caroline (29:35):

Brilliant, thank you for sharing that. Well, as I say, we're going to wrap this up now, but before we finish, in our own style we are going to ask you three quickfire questions. You have no idea what we're about to ask you, so be ready to say whatever comes into your head. How do you unwind, what's your go-to happy thing to do?

Ngozi (29:52):

Sing or run.

Caroline (29:53):

Yay!

Chris (29:55):

You've pleased Caroline because she's a runner. So my question is, if you had a large piece of land, what would you do with it?

Ngozi (30:02):

I would build a wonderfully large campus-like village. A small village. Let's say it's a smaller piece of land and I could just build my 12 bedroom compound. One large estate for me and my husband and our two kids, and then two slightly smaller estates for both his parents and my parents. So we could all live together in harmony. I just think it'd be a wonderful little commune.

Caroline (30:28):

And so what's your favourite food?

Ngozi (30:31):

Oh, it's really difficult to say because I'm going through a healthy eating phase at the moment. So I could tell you what typically would've been my favourite food. Something like a stack of fluffy American pancakes with maple syrup, smoked streaky bacon. Oh, I'd love that.

Chris (30:48):

Caroline would love that as well.

Ngozi (30:49):

Yeah, come on. It's just, you know, all stacked up and, oh, you just cut into it. Mm, I really want one. I'm craving it now.

Caroline (30:56):

Ngozi it's been so lovely to speak with you. Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom with us and we look forward to speaking again very soon.

Ngozi (31:04):

So much Caroline and Chris the Shepherd, it's been a pleasure.

Caroline (31:07):

Thank you for listening today. What was your biggest takeaway or insight? Let us know on any of our social channels, we'd really love to know. Till next time, have a baa-rilliant week.

Chris (31:20):

Bye for now.

Caroline (31:21):

Bye.

Ngozi (31:22):

Bye.